"The words that left unspoken"
I could still recall, those memories of you,
The joy and all your laughter,
The love that we've been through.
and I still can't believe you're gone...
I don't want to remember,
The things we used to do,
I don't want to hear those songs,
All the things that reminds me of you.
I don't wanna feel the pain in my heart anymore!
Talking to myself, for reasons I can't find.
Finding out why everything went wrong.
I've been trying to hold.
the tears from falling down on my cheeks,
I just dunno if I could still go on.
I wanted you to stay,
The tears began to show,
You said you care for me,
But then you have to go
And now I know, you're gone.
ME
Shane?
1st Mar
Singapore Youth Olympic Games Organising Committee
分手都已過了那麼久 現在也有自已的生活
我不能像妳這樣 說分了就忘 我這樣是堅強
還是忘了愛的勉強 過去不想 全部隱藏
就試著遺忘
Seriously missing you badly
My Story
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
14:15
Blogged by.. shane @ 14:15
well..
last saturday, i experienced the HongKong Interport Game - SICC vs HKGC..
heard from them that it's a very big game..
the hongkong players will come down and have agame with the SICC members..
sad to say..
we lost!
throw face only..
lost in home ground..
hope we are able to win in november when SICC members go over..
what have i learnt?
teamwork, iniatitve, experience, etc..
work from 0830 to 2230..
long long day..
went to new course early morning to paste the tags on the buggies
prepare the name list
help carry golf bags up to the buggies
came back to main club house to tag the hongkong players' gold bags and load them up on the mini bus..
tough job..
cause i handicap ma..
hahas..
but still get my job done!
tired..
after lunch,
did some wrapping..
prizes for the players lo..
den went over to F&B side to look for adeline..
den..
the stupid thing is:
golfing staff suddenly become F&B staff..
i was there to help out in setting the tables (put the forks,knifes,spoon, glasses)
den still need to WIPE GLASSES!!
thought only at WG den i need to do that..
come here also need to do so.
hahas..
stupid la..
but i like..
muhahahaha..
weather damn hot..
so i was asked to came back to office and stone
ha..
shiok!!
den waited for hsien yew and kristine to come back from new course..
den went back to pool side for prize presentation..
again..
went to pool side and i was at the bar..
opening wine and serving drinks lo..
i was helping out with one of the F&B guy ma..
hahaha..
though there are problems here and there..
but with adeline,jeremy and kristine around..
problems solved!!
had dinner after all the players left..
get to know singapore idol beverly..
adeline's fren..
hahas..
den we sat down and have dinner and we drank..
i was controlling cause next day got sth on ma..
den adeline drink little bit only, the face so red like the monkey backside la..
hahas..
afterall,
she's a nice boss..
nice enough to send me home..
den she jio me go drinking next sat..
hahas..
still thinking - to go or not to go..
hahas..
another one more month wor..
leaving this place le..
abit bu she de my golfing department..
we had joy, we had fun..
we no big no small..
fool around
tensing everyone..
so FUN!!!!!!!
at the end of the day..
to handle such a big event is no kidding..
you really need the manpower, the necessary logistics, etc...
TEAMWORK AND CO-OPERATION!!!
very important..
enjoyed my tired day..
hoping that my bao bei is doing well..
hope to see her soon..
hope she cool down le..
misses...Labels: SICC vs HKGC
Will these make me feel better?
Friday, March 23, 2007
08:35
Blogged by.. shane @ 08:35
damn!!!
it seems like i've lost everything in just one night..
what the!!!
i know no matter what i say,
there's nothing i can do to wan liu ni.
all i can do now is to let you cool down first.
it's all my fault..
is i find trouble for myself.
but i finally realised my mistakes.
i mean..
this time is for real.
i know the trust between us is no longer there..
but there's always chances to mend it back de ma..
i know you have given me many many chances..
is just that i din take it seriously..
until i've lost you..
den i realised everything..
but its too late..
nothing can be change...
sad!!!!
frankly speaking..
i can lose everything around me..
but i just cant accept that the most important person no longer there for me le..
no matter what..
i wil still put you first in my life..
i will still teng ni..
i will still be there if you needed me.
i know i made you pissed time and times again..
and there's nothing i can do about it now..
zhen de hen shang xin..
all is what i wanted to tell you lo..
now i can only hope that you can cool down fast lo..
without you by my side is like missing my arm..
i already lost one arm le..
can i dont lose you?
lost you twice..
that's why dont wanna lose you again..
once bitten, twice shy..
cannot have the third time le..
if not i can really go and die..
let car knock oso nvm...
bao bei..
let me show you that i've wake up my senses..
let me show you that i've change for myself..
let me show you that i still care..
let me tell you that i need you by my side..
sorry for all the trouble that i've caused between us..
i'm really very guilty for making you angry and losing the trust in me..
i really wanna make it up for you again..
if you got chanceto read this,
the purpose is not to make you more angry..
just wanna let you know how important you are to me..
and that to apologise to you..
i know my mistake le..
sorry sorry...
sighs~Labels: i'm sorry
Will these make me feel better?
Sunday, March 18, 2007
12:30
Blogged by.. shane @ 12:30
no pain..no gain!!!
now that i've tasted the pain..
i've gain somethings..
i've gain friends..
i've gain a experience..
i've gain a understanding
i've gain many many more..
though i almost lose my bao bei..
i know you're sick and tired of scolding me, nagging at me and stuff..
i'm always dumb enough only to know that when i'm losing that person, den realise that she's very important in my life...
i'm not only dumb, i'm really a ah toot!
ha..
i know action speaks louder than words..
and this is what i will do..
what's over is over!
there's no turning back for me le.
i can only move forward.
and i am goin to move forward and stand up for myself.
wun torture myself in these kinda pain le.
i will always remember what bao bei told me..
letting go doesnt mean that you dont love that person le.
so i wil let go in no time.
knowing that i cannot afford to lose the most important person im my life.
without you, i'm really nothing le.
well..
not my hand..
for god knows what the reason,
my elbow began to swell again..
dunno what's wrong..
all i did was to get a elbow guard.
though with the guard on, i still feel the pain inside..esp my bone!!
WTF!!
now begin to get scare le.
cause i dont know what's happening inside and why izzit like that...
sighs..
cant straighten up my hand.
i can feel the pain.
OMG!!!
sighs~Labels: no pain no gain...
Will these make me feel better?
Monday, March 12, 2007
19:42
Blogged by.. shane @ 19:42
finally it has come to an end..
everything is over by now..
after so long..
she finally decided not to wait any longer and continue with life..
she messaged me and said..
'err..shane..i think it's time for us to go our own ways........'
when i received that message,
i knew everything is over..
kinda sad..
though i'm used to not having her by my side..
but being mentally without her is hard..
she told her she found a guy who's her age and understands her alot..
that's why she decided not to wait le..
sighs...
so i just replied and said good and all the best..
ha..
funny right?
after so long..
yet i still cant let go..
at times..
i admit..
i still think of her and wishing that she was by my side to hold me tight..
but all these are over!
i should feel happy..
at least no one is bothering me any longer..
but...
i feel sad!
OMG!!!
waht's wrong man?!
izzit because now i learn that there's no longer anyone behind me, waiting for me and stuff?
or izzit because i feel so lonely once again...
as i think back of all the stuff we went through,
i was loved, taken care of, and happy..
however, i no longer can feel that anymore le..
the more i think back, the more hurt it bring to me..
i know i shouldnt be talking about all these..
but..
i cant help but to bring it up again..
the longest relationship i have, yet the most hurting, and the one i love most..
i realized that i did not treat her as good as before..
anyway..
it's all over!!
shan talk about it le..
make me feel more sad only..
i dunno what's bao bei reaction will be..
but i did promise you that i will not fall deep in again..
and indeed..
i did not fell in again..
though i feel hurt..
but not as bad as before when we first broke off..
ha
sometimes i wonder..
why am i in such a situation?
feel so bad..
feel so hurt..
feel so lost..
lost without you?
how i wish there's someone there for me right now..
how i wish there's a shoulder for me to rely on now..
just feel like hugging someone to cry out loud now..
(all i can do is to hug my tigger..)
it has been a week plus since i last see you le..
hope you're doing fine, bao bei..
must take good care of yourself lo..
well..
life still continue ma..
rite?
will stand up again de..
i know i'm better off alone..
yup...
Labels: hurting
Will these make me feel better?
Thursday, March 08, 2007
09:21
Blogged by.. shane @ 09:21
continued...
so finally decided to see doctor on tuesday..
so doctor tong said that it was tennis elbow..
so he gave me two jab, double doze..
OMG!!
den it swell up..
sad..
den i find myself so useless la..
last july was my back..
den recently is my knee..
den now?
it's my elbow!!
WTF is wrong with me?
what's wrong??
sighs~
den jeremy said that it's more than just a tennis elbow..
i know it's the inflamation of the nerves..
before the jab, there was no swelling..
it's only after the jab den the pain is more and started to swell leh..
sighs..
izzit becasue i cant take the med?
or izzit really something more serious than a tennis elbow?
who can tell me???
wanted to go A&E ytd..
but nai nai say too late le..
moreover my stupid dad din even say a thing about it lo.
sadded..
wondering if he still care lo..
mummy so worry lo..
including my bao bei..
but why??
shuld i really go see later?
or should i wait till it's worsen?
sighs~
it's damn pain now la..
freaking PAIN~~
sighs..
lousy year for me this year?
or izzit just my luck..
once injured, always injured..
argh~
bao bei!!
pain.pain.pain.
missing you..
when can i see you again?
sighs..Labels: painful elbow..
Will these make me feel better?
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
15:23
Blogged by.. shane @ 15:23
wooh!!!
came back from genting on sunday night..
really enjoyed myself there..
thanks bao bei..
for accompanying me..
kana dragged to play alot of things lo..
and i begin to love roller coaster and the flying coaster..
hahas..
soO fun..
but sad to say..
my hand keep giving me problem..
keep aching and feeling numb lo..
sad..
overall..
i could say that it's a full of wonderful de memories lo.
*smile
hee..
but hor..
like hai bao bei rmb alot of stupid stuff with him lo..
sad..
but i know what she's doing lo..
so can fang xin..
even though come back le..
my hand still pain lo..
pain until cannot take things lo..
ARGH~~~Labels: pain
Will these make me feel better?
Friday, March 02, 2007
08:15
Blogged by.. shane @ 08:15
thought i would have a very sad birthday..
cause ah girl msg me the night before and said something happen to her and her mum..
i was so F****** worried..
i could not sleep all the way till 0400..
i was soO down!!!
initially meeting bao bei for dinner..
but becasue of her,
we cancelled..
den...
she made me so pissed again!
ask her meet what time don't wanna say..
really made me NO MOOD!!!
@#$$%&*((&^%#@@$
so, i went home..
while i was using the com..
she called..
and you know what????
she said SHE'S UNDER MY BLOCK!!!
WHAT THE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i went down immediately..
and i almost got a heart attack..
i was tricked!!
AGAIN!!!
but i'm greatful to have them celebrating with me..
hahas...
thanks to girl,becca,kai hui and ryan...
after that..
meet bao bei to go party world!!!!!!
hahas..
high high high~~~
drank beer..
enjoyed!!
i had a heart to heart talk with ah girl..
i finally told her how i feel..
she was stoned..
i guess she did not know the effort i've put in during that 5 months..
but come to think of it..
it's all over..
but..
at least she still care..
she still bother..
like i said before..
just wanna help you guys get out of the darkness..
whether got chance to be together or not.
it's another thing..
what's important is to see you guys stand up again..
having you all by my side is already very good le..
would not ask for more..
though there is the hope there la..
hahas..
for girl,
if you need me, i'm always around..
i would not turn back again le..
but, i still care..
for bao bei,
thanks for everything..
i'll stick by your side for as long as time allows..
untill you find the guy of your heart..
i wanna be super glue le..
hahas..
you happy = i happy
you sad = i more sad
you down = i oso down
thanks for the time and effort you have spend on me..
would not let you down again le..
cause wanna see you happy..
i really love the jacket alot..
like i said again...
i love you more!!
hahas..
cant wait till tonight..
gonna really let down our hair and RELAX!!!
ENJOY.PLAY!! Labels: those were the days
Will these make me feel better?
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